I take a long time to recover from home; I ingest it wholly and am left with a hole in my stomach when I return. And it all takes time and in that time I wonder whether what I'm feeling is more real than the settled days I'm slipping back into.

Thank you for comments this week, they meant a lot to me.

And some links you might like:
Low, sad murmur

The tablecloth in the last image. Perfection

"I want to have something important and revelatory to say about something but I don’t, not right now. Now I just want to go home."

- read here, found here

Hila's It's the Dusty Hour, reminds me of my friend Jen. Jen's a friend whose style I examined and coveted when we were undergraduates together. Now, she is just wholly is herself and I myself and when I look at her, I don't feel that anymore, just our friendship.

I ate fish when I was at home. It seemed right to, sitting there in Howth, moving down the pier every day to photograph the trawlers and watch men sew nets. Smoked salmon with brown bread. Monkfish. Hake. Dublin Bay Prawns. One day while there, I saw Alaska Part 2 and felt the same way I was feeling about eating fish in Dublin, hitting pause on vegetarianism. Not being hardcore about everything all the time.

"I think if we didn't contradict ourselves, it would be awfully boring. It would be tedious to be alive. Changing your mind is probably one of the most beautiful things people can do. And I've changed my mind about a lot of things over the years."
- Mr. Auster, heard here.

Have a lovely weekend!


  1. Such a beautiful image. Love that quote from Mr. Auster.

    I think I know what you mean about coming home, after being home. It's very different to going on a holiday somewhere else.

    Reminds me of "Almost French" by Sarah Turnbull (an Australian journalist who moved to France). She talks about having two homes in two countries and how there's an emotional tug. I first read it before I moved and enjoyed it. Then I re-read it after being here for a couple of years and took more of it in.

    Have a great weekend!

    1. Thanks Alice - I will look out for that book this weekend!!

  2. Visiting home stirs you up doesn't it - have you read Tirra Lirra by the River, by Jessica Anderson? It got to me, and the feeling she evoked keeps turning up in a familiar way as I get older.

    1. It does indeed.

      I haven't read this book, but thank you for the recommendation - I will look out for it, though I'm deep in the middle of a few textbooks right now, so I may not be fast getting to it!

      Thanks Tricia - have a great weekend!

  3. I basically wallow in homesickness every time I return to Australia from Israel. Even though I know I'll never realistically live in Israel again, it still has a strong emotional hold on me. Which makes sense, as the place where you grow up, and where your family is, always will. That 'settling back' period is always tough, so I hope you're easing into it.

    I'm interested now in how my little zine with Gracia and Louise reminds you of your friend!

    1. I'm not so sure anymore that I won't live in Ireland again!! But, yes, I agree... no matter what, the hold is there.

      My friend has a very Bloomsbury style... something about the images in your zine evoked her palette and sensibility.

  4. Some lovely things to think over - thanks Jane!

    Happy Saturday

  5. Absolutely loving the Prague atalier, (was born there) and the Dusty Hour zine. What fun. Thanks for sharing. :)

  6. Hello Jane

    I love your wording of the transition between home and here and the hold in the stomach.

    The scenery in Ireland is so spectacular and around each corner is another beautiful vista. It is perhaps the light and the sky colours too. Returning to North America is a major adjustment. The trip from Toronto airport along the 401 is quite sobering.

    Be easy with yourself

    Helen xx

    1. Yes, that is a sobering drive. Thanks Helen, I'm letting myself wallow in it for a bit, while I get my head screwed back on.

  7. You describe that transition time so well. I moved from America to Northern Ireland over 3 years ago. I really treasure your blog, and look forward to every read. Thanks.
    Jessica x

    1. Thanks Jessica. Do you ever thing about moving back?

      I'm so flattered that you enjoy my blog! Thank you.

  8. Hi Jane,
    I go back and forth quite a lot. It's hard to decide where 'home' is sometimes, and what it means to me. What about you? Yes, I look forward to reading your posts every week. I love the combination of art and poetry you post.
    Thank you,
    Jessica :)

    1. I started really thinking about it on this visit. I've been in Canada a decade now, so I'm fragmented no matter what I do. But I had that deeper sense of belonging when I was home this time. It's never easy, it is?

      You're so kind, thank you!

  9. "I wonder whether what I'm feeling is more real than the settled days I'm slipping back into."

    I've been battling with these thoughts myself lately, in my heart and in my writing...what does it mean when the place I currently call "home" doesn't feel like home? (Although my personal issue seems to be that too many places feel like home lately - I'm stretched thin between everywhere I love, don't know where I belong!)

    Thanks as ever for thought-provoking words and links!

    1. Thanks Sally - I'm glad you relate. And I agree - having many homes is confusing. If I went back to Ireland, there are many things I'd miss about Canada. And I am also a Canadian now. More choices sometimes just mean more confusion!

      Glad you enjoyed the links too!


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